Third Wheel

"third wheel"

The "third wheel" refers to the person who is the outsider when there is a group of three. Example: "You two go on ahead without me. I don't want to be the third wheel." An analogy can be made to a two-wheeled bicycle or cart; adding a third wheel would not be helpful and would limit mobility. To be the "third wheel" is to be the extra, unnecessary person in a group of three people. Example: "Missy and I were going to go to the dance with another couple, but when I got sick she decided to stay home also. She didn't want to be the third wheel."

(From http://www.goenglish.com/ThirdWheel.asp)

And this is what I had experienced tonight. My friend and her new boyfriend came over and we went to go eat at The Cheesecake Factory, watch "27 Dresses" and shop at Barnes and Nobel. This is a new experience for me, being a third wheel. Normally when I go out it is in a big mixed group or a group of girls, I've never just tagged along. But my friend wanted me to meet her new man and I was curious myself. He turned out to be a nice guy. Being a third wheel is interesting. You don't want to be obtrusive when the couple is doing their "couple thing" (i.e. holding hands, smooching, making cow eyes at each other, etc.) and yet you don't want to seem like some stalker following the couple, so you have to maintain proper distance. It was an odd experience but I tried not to dwell on the fact that I was the third wheel.

The movie "27 Dresses" was excellent! James Marsden is a cutie and Katherine Heigl was funny as the main characters. I enjoyed the movie so much this was the second time I went to go see it. The ending is predictable but still there are surprises. I can't wait until it is out on DVD!

Haircut

The only new thing with me is I got a haircut. On Friday I went to see my hairstylist and told her that I had been shedding more than usual. She told me it was either due to my diet, stress or thyroid and that I needed to go see a doctor. Since stress is unavoidable with my job (which I've gotten used to!) and I am eating healthier due to working out with a trainer, I didn't think those two were the cause of my hair loss. So I set up a doctors appointment for later on this week and she cut my hair back to shoulder length. I was sad seeing all my hair cut since it had gotten so long, as long as it was my sophomore year which to me is the longest it gets. My hair of course went back to its wavy, curly state as soon as it got short. So tell me what do you think?

Houseguest

Proverbs 25:17 is a good verse to keep in mind when staying over at someone's house. My family has welcomed various visitors over the years and I've seen plenty of guests that I wish would leave us within a month of their stay. We've had visitors stay for over a year at our house and there are times when I have just wanted to quote that particular verse in Proverbs. So I went looking online to see what others have said about how to be a good house guests.

Here's what I've found:

1. Arrive when you say you will arrive. Don't turn up earlier. This is the worst thing you can do as your host may not be ready for you and it could inconvenience them considerably. If, for some unforeseen reason, you caught an earlier connection or you had an extra day's vacation and you'd like to arrive earlier, call them first. If they sound hesitant, tell them that you'd rather leave the plans as originally decided and find something else to do with your extra time. This will also depend on who you're staying with; mom and dad probably won't mind at all but a friend or colleague might be in the middle of work or social arrangements that could be very difficult to change.
• Equally, don't saunter in the day after you said you'd arrive. This can really upset some hosts, who worry about what might have happened to you or are put out because they may have rearranged their schedules to accommodate you. This fills the air with bad vibes. Again, if you are delayed for any reason, call them and explain. They'll understand, but only if you've given good reasons why.
2. Don't overstay your visit. Your hosts are not on vacation like you are, and even though have graciously welcomed you into their home, have probably spent an excess of their time and money with extra food and drink, utilities, rearranging their normal routine, etc.
3. Bring a gift to say thank you at the outset. Arriving with something as a way of thanking your hosts in advance is a thoughtful and caring gesture. It demonstrates your appreciation of their caring contribution in making your stay a good one. Considerate, inexpensive gifts include: a bottle of wine, a box of chocolates, a basket of fruit or flowers. If you don't want to carry anything extra, have it delivered just in advance of your arrival.
4. Keep your guest area neat. Do not roll your suitcase inside the home. Take care not to soil the carpet or bedspread with oil, salt, or grime from the bottom of your suitcase. If provided, use a suitcase stand. Make your bed before appearing for breakfast. Keep your suitcase and belongings as unobtrusive as possible - especially if the room is visible to your hosts in passing by. Just shutting the door to a messy room is not an option. If you are given a sofa bed in a living area, it is especially important to arise when your hosts do, and accept that others have to live in the house, too. Make up your bed and tuck your suitcase out of the way to keep the common space neat. If you need closet space, always ask permission first.
5. Be reasonable about sharing a household bathroom. If the house only has one bathroom, ask when it is convenient for you to use it. If the family is working, going to school, etc., the last thing you want to be doing is getting underfoot. Come to an arrangement as soon as you arrive and be flexible about the use. Consideration is also expected if you are sleeping in a living area near the only bathroom; remember, others may need to use it after you go to bed. If there are more bathrooms, make sure that you use the one allocated to you and treat the other bathrooms as private.
• If towels are not placed out for you in the guest room, don't presume that the fancy towels in a shared bathroom are for you. Politely inquire, "What towels would you like me to use?" If you are provided a guest bathroom, still keep it neat and always hang the towels up in an orderly manner.
6. Don't keep the hosts up late. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last saw them, or how many exciting stories you have to tell them. Let your hosts get to bed for a decent night's rest. You may be feeling so excited at seeing them that you don't even notice your own exhaustion from traveling, so it will benefit you to go to bed at a reasonable hour, too. Likewise, don't sleep in and make your host family tiptoe around you. The yachting rule is: When the Captain is up, everybody is up.
7. Always offer to help at mealtimes. There is nothing more debilitating than having guests who sit around waiting expectantly for all meals. This is when a stay crosses over from being homey to like being in a hotel. It doesn't mean crowding the host out of the kitchen, but it does mean collecting plates, carrying out dishes, offering to wash up or stack the dishwasher, cleaning off the counters, and taking the garbage out. You could even offer to cook a meal or two yourself. If you're not sure what to do, ASK! Even if the host may say "nothing", insist that you do at least one thing. Very few hosts can say no to this offer!
8. Offer to make contributions. Even if you're not eating at your host's home, offer to purchase the groceries (after all, you still need their toilet paper!). This is usually the most burdensome additional cost for your hosts. Remember that they have probably already been shopping for extra groceries and spent a considerable amount of time and money to get ready for your visit. You could either bankroll their next supermarket trip (and it's nice if you accompany them, too) or you could offer to go out and buy things for both yourself and for them (ask them for a list). For longer stays, assisting with the grocery bill is crucial! Remember, you're getting free accommodations! Even for shorter visits such as a weekend, at least offer to take your hosts out for dinner. It should be the restaurant of their choice, although if you suggest it the right way, they'll also be deciding on a restaurant featuring local cuisine that they think will impress you as a visitor.
9. Do your own laundry. Don't be embarrassed about asking whether it is okay to do your laundry at your host's place. They understand that after a few days you'll have dirty underwear. Don't make the request sound like you're hoping they might add your laundry to their laundry chores. And never presume that the washing machine or dryer is available; always ask your host when the most convenient time is for you to do your laundry, emphasizing that you don't want to cut into the household's normal routine. If this means spending a weekday morning at the house doing laundry instead of visiting a museum, well, so be it.
10. Entertain yourself. Your hosts are offering you their home but not necessarily their time. Let your hosts make it clear whether or not they have the time to take you to places or to spend entire evenings with you. They may have work to finish at home, they may have work during the daytime, or other commitments. Don't presume that you can rely on their generosity to drive you to places or to show you around. Be prepared to catch public transportation and taxis. They'll probably be able to help you find a timetable or the nearest bus depot or subway line. Alternately, rent a car for yourself, especially if you plan on seeing many of the local sights, or if you are more active than your hosts. Your hosts may have already visited the sights many times before, especially if they live in a tourist-destination town.
11. Be home on time. Unless you have made a clear arrangement with your hosts that you'll be coming and going as and when you please, give your hosts an idea of when you'll return. If your hosts are providing you with an evening meal, be there at least half an hour before meal time. This gives you time to assist with the meal, help set the table or carry out other household chores. If you're late for a meal, call first and explain. Better yet, if you've been out sightseeing all day, and know that you'll be home late, don't come home hungry, assuming that your host is waiting to feed you. Have dinner while you're out, or bring dinner home with you, (pizza will do!) and bring enough for your hosts. Be extra quiet on arriving back late and if given a key, use it. Then, turn out the lights.
12. Be careful about internet and phone usage. If you need to use the internet or phone at your host's home, ask them first if this is okay with them. Ask them if they have dial-up or broadband and if your usage for a certain amount of time will cost anything. If there are costs involved (especially with long-distance calls), offer to leave payment. Better yet, use your cell phone. Regardless of the financial implications, sitting on the internet all night is just plain rude. Be thoughtful and just check your e-mails, your favorite updates and then shut down and return to the conversation. If using your host's computer, don't access any questionable websites that may invite viruses, undesirable email spam or worse (you know what I mean!)
13. Leave a thank you gift on your departure. Again, nothing expensive, just a small token of appreciation to show that you appreciated their hospitality. Flowers, a bottle of wine, fresh berries or a hand-written card are nice tokens. Do your homework, and try to choose something that you know they will like.
14. Strip your bedclothes on leaving. You're not staying in a hotel and your host has to wash the sheets (and towels) when you leave. Make it easier by removing sheets, pillow cases and any other linens. Place them in a neat pile on the foot of the bed. Better yet, start washing them for your host. After all, they'll have to do it after you leave anyway. You've probably been washing your own clothes during your stay, so you'll be familiar with using the washer and dryer. If you're staying long enough that your sheets require washing during your stay, do them yourself and remake your own bed. Does your host use a housecleaning service? You may even offer to contribute to the cost of cleaning after you leave.
15. Leave quietly and thoughtfully. If you have to leave really early in the morning, say your farewells the night before. If you're departing late at night or early in the morning, book your own transportation. Do not expect the host to run you to the airport/bus station unless the host suggests it. If you leave when the hosts are at work or out, make sure you have made prior arrangements to leave the keys somewhere safe and that you're sure how to lock the place up properly. If your host offers to provide your transportation, at least pay for their gas! With gas at around $3.00 (U.S.) a gallon, a good rule of thumb is to give at least $20.00 (U.S.) Offer more if it's a long drive. Remember, it's a round trip drive for your host. It's still no doubt cheaper for you than a shuttle or a taxi, and should not be at your host's expense.
16. The Golden Rule: Don't outstay your welcome. A short stay is a pleasant stay and leaves everyone feeling good about each other. As Ben Franklin once said, "Guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days."
17. Send a thank you note. Send a small card or an e-card to say thanks when you return home. Yes, it's a lot of thank-you's but it's polite to acknowledge the fact that your hosts opened their home to you, and it keeps the potential open for a repeat stay when the stay is remembered amicably by all.

What is Love?

1 Corinthians 13

The Excellence of Love

1If I speak with the ^(A)tongues of men and of ^(B)angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a ^(C)clanging cymbal.

2If I have the gift of ^(D)prophecy, and know all ^(E)mysteries and all ^(F)knowledge; and if I have ^(G)all faith, so as to ^(H)remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

3And if I ^(I)give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I ^(J)surrender my body ^[a]to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

4Love ^(K)is patient, love is kind and ^(L)is not jealous; love does not brag and is not ^(M)arrogant,

5does not act unbecomingly; it ^(N)does not seek its own, is not provoked, ^(O)does not take into account a wrong suffered,

6^(P)does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but ^(Q)rejoices with the truth;

7^(R)bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8Love never fails; but if there are gifts of ^(S)prophecy, they will be done away; if there are ^(T)tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away.

9For we ^(U)know in part and we prophesy in part;

10but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away.

11When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.

12For now we ^(V)see in a mirror dimly, but then ^(W)face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also ^(X)have been fully known.

13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is ^(Y)love.

~New American Standard Bible

REMEMBER
November 20th, 1996 Claire
Melbourne, Australia

As I sit alone
With the warm sun on my back
I realize somethings missing
A part of me which lacks.

Could it be the trees,
Reaching for the sky?
Or could it be the children,
Walking home, who pass me by?

Perhaps, I miss the birds,
Chirping sweetly above my head?
All I feel is restlessness
A part of me is dead.

I know now what it is.
Now I realize what is wrong.
It's the feeling, they call solitude,
All my friends are gone.

Of course I know,
That as we grow,
We have to make our way,
We all must plot a different course,
To go by everyday.

I always thought my friendships,
Would be round,
Just like the moon
But you see,
I am not ready,
For it all to end so soon.

I miss their happy laughter,
Floating on the wind.
I miss the many secrets,
That circulate within.

The only way to keep,
Our friendships woven tight,
Is to keep in contact always,
And then we'll be alright!

Bad joke

With it being an election year in the USA, politics is a topic discussed around many water coolers in the work place including where I work. The great thing about living in this country is our freedom of speech and as one of my coworkers pointed out the candidates sound like part of a bad joke. It would start something like this "a woman, black man, senior and Mormon walk into a bar..." (well the Mormon wouldn't be in the bar) but you get the drift. I'm sure by now someone has made a political joke about is somewhere, in this country that isn't surprising.

Fortunately there is about nine months left before we vote in the Presidential elections. So there is time to gather information, draw up lists of pros and cons, verify facts from gossip and try to make the best possible choice for President. For now I'm just watching the news and reading the politically inclined comics and editorial pages of the newspapers with amusement. Isn't it great to have such freedom that you can joke about your leaders??