An encouragement

Our Deepest Fear
~By Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 
It is our light, not our darkness
That most frightens us.
We ask ourselves
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be? 
You are a child of God.
Your playing small 
Does not serve the world. 
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking 
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, 
As children do. 
We were born to make manifest 
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; 
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, 
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. 
As we're liberated from our own fear, 
Our presence automatically liberates others.

Nothing like a re-newed friendship

One of my old buddies came back out to work in the field tonight. It was great seeing his name back on the roster again. I had forgotten just how funny he was! He's got the best sense of humor and each time I would get him on the phone, he would keep me laughing just by talking. He wouldn't really have to crack a joke because he has this silver tongue for keeping you smiling. It could be something simple like requesting a phone number and yet he makes it so funny because he would go off on tangents. Its like that relative you have who would start talking about one thing but end up talking about another, but with my friend you don't fall asleep while he's talking because he's so witty. Yet he has that sense of humor that comes with the job so you never really know what will come out of his mouth. Ahh brings back memories, I had forgotten some of his idiosyncrasies like how he could drink like 15 cups of coffee. I enjoy having fun people like him to work with. It has been nice just catching up with him and renewing this friendship.

Beach day & San Jose

Since I didn't get much of a weekend last week, having been assigned to go to a mandatory 'sexual harassment and discrimination' class. Then on the one night I thought I would have off, I had to pay back my shift trade. So I wanted for this weekend to go to the beach. I told Anne about it and she found out that there are two lighthouses in Santa Cruz. So we coordinated our days off and decided to go to the beach today. The weather certainly wasn't going to stop us, jackets have been invented to keep the cold out. Actually, the weather at the beach was pretty nice, in the mid-50's and windspeed of 3mph. It was a nice day to just go and watch the surfers, the birds, the boats and listening to the ocean waves as it hits land.

Then for dinner we met up with my cousins, Adrian and Ryan. It was a sushi weekend, so we went to Blowfish Sushi (355 Santana Rowe #1010, San Jose, Ca 408-345-FUGU) where my cousin works. Now Anne doesn't really do raw fish, so we had mostly cooked items. But my cousins were used to the whole raw fish thing and they orderd the sashimi combination platter. The dish came on top of a bowl of ice and there was another bowl underneath that which had dry ice so you got the whole billowing effect. It was pretty cool to look at and if you like the whole raw fish sushi, it was tastey. I'm still tasting things and figuring out what I like and don't like. So far I like ahi, salmon, tuna (seared though) and I don't like raw mackrel. The desert at Blowfish was this green tea ice cream over green tea cheesecake, which was delicious! (apparently it's a house special recipe). Also we had this desert where they carmelized the banana and wraped it in a crepe, then it was topped off with leyche ice cream. Yummy! I didn't really get a clear picture because I didn't want to blind the other tables with the very bright flash of my camera. But the sugar work on the desert was pure artistry! And hanging out with my cousins was fun too, the waiter was hilarious and kept us in stiches everytime he came over. Overall it was a great day!

The things we do for family

My brother told me the other day that he needed five dozen cookies for school. The boy doesn't bake and there was no way my mother could make cookies. She had kids all day and was busy watching them, my dad doesn't do cookies so it was left up to me. So I woke up early to bake his 5 dozen chocolate chip cookies. Mind you I still had to go to work and do my overtime that night. But that's not to say that my brother didn't help. He had to clean the dishes and work on on the batter when I doubled it. He had to put some shoulder power into that chcolate chip mix. Now I can understand just a wee bit of why parents stay up late to help little "Tommy" or "Janie" finish their school project. It's not about them getting the good grades (even though it does help!) or about making sure that the project is done right, it's because they do it out of love.

A nice change from my regular work

I rode along with one of our units today, instead of working at the office. But the curse of the ride-along got to me again. It was a quiet night in the usually busy neighborhood. The excitement had occured early yesterday morning and tonight it was dull. We even rode through an area known to be rampant with crime and there was no one around. For those of you who haven't kept up with the weather out here in CA, it's been hitting 20 degrees in Sactown. Now those in the east are probably laughing at me but for us out here used to the nice mild winter. This is FREEZING!!! I guess that is why not a lot of people were out. But I still managed to stay amused by watching the interactions of the units with each other.
The people I work with are a unique breed of their own. We deal alot with the gray areas of life and so our perspective is different from "normal" people. Sometimes the guys get carried away and think they are "above" everyone else and that can get them in trouble. But one of the things I enjoy about my job is that we all have this bond with one another. My 'big sis' made sure the guys behaved themselves tonight. These guys fit in various roles of the family. There is the mischievous brother, the energetic go-getter brother, the quiet guardian brother and the wayward family members. Yet when push comes to shove, we all stand together behind one another, it's like having a second family when you go to work. That is one of the reason why I love my job.

Something to think about...

What will matter
by:Michael Josephson

Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours or days.
All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.
Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.
It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.
Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.
So too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.
The wins and losses tha tonce seemed so important will fade away.
It won't matter where you came form or what side of the tracks you lived on at the end.
It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought but what you built,
not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
empowered or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence but your character.
What will matter is not how many people you know,
but how many will feel a lasting loss when you're gone.
What will matter is not your memories but the memories of those who loved you.
What will matter is how long you will be remembered, by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doens't happen by accident.
It's not a matter of circumstances but of choice.
Choose to life a life that matters.